Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
