Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
