i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
