he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
