So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
