Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
