why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
