thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
