I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Your cock deserves a montage
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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