Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Pappa wants mamma naked
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
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