Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
