Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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