It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
