Hey man sorry I got all grabby
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
