the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize