YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Randomize
