I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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