remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
