Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I should be sponsored by Trojan
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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