i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
