Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
