its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
