So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
where are my eyebrows?
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