she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
