There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
