good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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