So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
