At least make sure they are 18
Why
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
