i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
