My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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