Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
