Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
