ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
