3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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