please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
