I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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