im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
