I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
4 words: hood of his car
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
