Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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