He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
