you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
