Your face is a jimmy john
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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