**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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