So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
