just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
