there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
