I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Can you repeat that, but with context?
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