My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize