Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
