new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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