Joe is yelling at the trees again.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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