your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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