i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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