we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
