My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
