I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Sorry about my life...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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