so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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