He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
