yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
