the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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