I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
