Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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