i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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