Me too!
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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